Top Ten Reasons

Here are the Top Ten Reasons Why Audra should come live with me:

10. Minnesota has some good places for her to learn how to ski
9. She could teach the Minnesotians about real Southern Hospitality, not this "Minnesota Nice" shit
8. 672.12 miles closer to Utah
7. Columbo will have fun in the snow.
6. She would get to live with me! :)
5. Free Rent!
4. Fondue every night!
3. Crafting after work
2. We could start planning our flower shop
1. We would tear up the town!!!

Offer's still on the table!

To the high school boys standing outside JoAnn's

Yes, I did hear you call me ugly.
Yes, I did see you at Michael's.
Yes, I do think you're gay, especially for dressing alike.
And yes, your manhood could have been salvaged if you had moved 20 yards down to the Sportsmart to wait for your ride.

* For real men, Michael's and JoAnn's are both craft stores. You know, with girlie things.

Ha Ha FE, you've been mofoed!

As almost all engineering students fear, at the end of their senior year, we take the Fundamentals of Engineering exam. Well, I got a letter Saturday from the state of Indiana saying that passed it with a 74. Now, I have no idea if that's good or not, all I know is that I passed. I celebrated with a Snak Pak. The next question is, do I go on to get my PE??

SNAP!

DoubleSpeak

So as I was booking a flight on-line today, I noticed that Orbiz has a "Gay Travel" section. To preface the rest of this post, I have nothing against gays, lesbians, and bisexuals. I'm a very much "to each his/her own" and "whatever floats your boat" type of person. Now that's out of the way, I don't understand this. Homosexuals have been avocating equal rights, and that they just want to be treated like everyone else. So why do they get their own travel section? If they get a travel section, then I want one labeled, "Yuppie Travel." And while we're at it, I want a Yuppie Pride Parade. And I want to put a green oval on the back of my car, signifying my yuppieness. And in this gay travel section, do they get better discounts to places like Boston, New Hampshire and Hawaii? Do they actually check your sexual preference, or could I pose as a lesbian and get the trip to Hawaii half off? Do you think I could get discounted travel to Seattle?

Job Posting

I am willing to pay someone $50 to clean my apartment. Please submit your resume via the comment section. This job posting will close on Monday, and the work must be completed by Thursday. Please supply recommendations.
Thank you and good luck.

Spiderman 2

I went with Andrew to see this movie a couple of days ago. I thought it was an excellent movie.... it kinda brings you up to speed with what's going on in the world. Did you know that there is an elevated line through all of Manhanttan? And, if a professor ever asks you what the eigen values are, just answer "2.6 mV" And if your fusion reaction ever goes out of control, just dunk it in water.... no matter that if it's huge that it will cause the river to boil and evaporate and increase the ocean temperature about 10 degrees, killing many of the organisims that live there. I don't believe in suspension of disbelief.

Minnesotans suck

While trying to turn in my rent check...

I didn't have the little thingie that they gave me to get into the front door of the leasing office, so I thought, "I'll just go in through the pool area." So I walk over to the pool gate, and while I was there, fiddling with my keys, there were about 5 people inside the gate just watching me. I still couldn't get in after the sprinklers came on, so these people were just there watching me get wet and not getting into the pool area. Yet another example of why Minnesotans suck.

Excuse me! Would you like to take a survey?

Is it more important to like your job, or to like where you live?

Post your comment.

Will it ever end?

I don't think I will ever finish unpacking. It's been 8 days since I started, and I I think I have about 4 more days to go until everything is in it's place. I don't like unpacking, so it's very easy for me to get distracted and on to other things. As I am unpacking, I'm also doing lots of sorting. I realized that if I'm going to be moving a lot, I'm not going to want to pack and unpack things that aren't important to me. So if there's something you've had your eye on, let me know and I may be able to let it go. :)

As an update, I didn't ask anyone to the parade, I went alone, got rained on, took some pictures, walked a mile to my car, got lost in Uptown, and finally made it back to my comfee bed. I also got lost yesterday morning walking around my neighboorhood. It took me about an hour to find my way home. Story of my life.

A question

I'm going downtown tonight to see a parade, and I was faced with a dilemma. Do I go alone and try to enjoy it, or do I ask someone at work and risk rejection.

hmmm

RAHR!

Today was not a good day. Leave happy comments!

Voting Update

The "facts" about the presidential candidates.

Where did they go?

So, I noticed today. On any given day, I never see the following establishments:
McDonald's
Taco Bell
KFC
Wendy's
Burger King

I thought those were staples in this day and age. No wonder I have to cook every night. :)

Neck Pains

So, this whole sleeping on an air mattress has finally gotten to me. I can't move my head to the right without getting pain through my neck. I think I also strained a muscle in my back that hurts when I breathe. That's breathe, not sneeze. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I hope you're not in America. :) Good ole sneaky Bush. Silly silly man. But ya know, I can't really complain because I didn't vote during the last election. Yes, I am apart of that eleventy billion percent of americans between the ages of 18 and 35 who doesn't vote.... yet. I should work on that though now that I have a new home state. I'll keep ya posted.

So... I'm here in Minneapolis and I feel like I'm on some sort of camping trip. My apartment is almost completely bare. I'm sleeping on an air mattress and right now I'm sitting at my computer which is on top of a Rubbermaid container. Kinda sad. People at work keep asking me, "Well, at least you have a TV." Actually, no, I don't. But a guy at work is going to let me borrow his until I get around to purchasing one. He's from New Jersey. Current score: Yankees 1, Minnesotians 0. But I'm off to St. Louis this weekend for a wedding, so people down there will be normal and I'll get a break from all of this.

Oh, and if you were wondering, yes, it was 48 degree (F) this morning when I woke up at 5 am. And I don't think we broke 70. I really thought it was supposed to be summertime.


***Disclaimer***
If you are from Minnesota, you are not classified under the "mean people" category until you try to run me over with your cart at the local Cub Foods or Target
*********

So, everyone who told me that people in Minnesota are "so nice" are liars. I've decided that Minnesota is not part of the Midwest, (I don't know if anyone else considers it to be), but part of this not being classified as a part of the Midwest is the lack of the "Midwest hospitality."

To the girl at the Grocery store who wouldn't let me out of my parking spot, I hope you get ear cancer from your cell phone.

For everyone at the Grocery store who ran me down without saying "Excuse me" or "sorry", I hope your chicken has salmonella.

For the guy who wouldn't hold the door for the girl with the huge cart of groceries, I hope you fall off your motorcycle.

RAHR!

Adventures in shopping....

So yesterday I bought a sofa and chair at a furniture outlet, and then today I saw a similar sofa and chair advertised at the same furniture store (but not the outlet), for way cheaper. So I call the sales guy and said, look, I want that other price. He said, ummm....NO. So I drove out there, talked to a way nice woman associate, and she got me an awesome deal on the advertised sofa and chair, that come with the manufacturer's warranty (the outlet stuff didn't), and the furniture is a little higher quality, and it came out to be $120 cheaper. I highly recommend her. So moral of the story, don't always go to the outlet first, and if you're going to Becker Furniture, ask for Kristi, but she doesn't work Mondays, Tuesdays, or Wednesdays.

Here's a riddle for ya...

A father and his two sons are walking in the Target parking lot. They see a young lady struggling with a cart and a step ladder. Suddenly, a gust of wind comes by and blows the receipt out of one of her bags. She tries to pull the cart over and put everything down. Now, which of the men helps her?

Answer: None of them. They just watch her as she chases her cart and the receipt across the parking lot.

Another thing I learned about Minnesota... no one says "Excuse me." They just barge by. And where there should be a 2-way stop or a light, there is a 4-way stop. Kinda silly

Real conversation I just had with my mom.

Me: Hey Mom, is one of the news anchors pregnant?
Mom: The one in the red?
Me: Yeah.
Mom: I thought she just had a baby not too long ago.
Me: She looks pregnant.
Mom: Maybe it's a re-run.

Maybe you shouldn't be taking care of Clair....

With all this moving stuff, I haven't had a chance to blog, and I really don't have time to do it now, I just wanted to leave everyone with this moment of wisdom from my brother:

"I don't understand women. How can a vagina bleed for a week and not die?!?!"